computer vs. me: i won!

well, it took giving in and doing a complete wipe of my machine, but i've finally fixed the damn laptop. naturally, during the systematic reinstallation of all the applications i use, the problem came back and i was actually able to find the root cause. AND IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU!!!

dramatic overtones aside, this was a pain in the ass and the fix is easy. sure, it turns out i didn't have to wipe the machine, but from my pain i pass on my knowledge. the short and dirty is this: on vista and win7 (at the least) zone alarm (freebie version) and norton anti-virus 2010 do not play nicely together. the symptoms are random encoding errors in any browser and all downloaded files erroring out as corrupted (or "not a win32 program"). neither norton nor malwarebytes ever found a virus and the errors did not surface running in safe mode.

anyway, long story short, the problem reared its head as soon as i reinstalled zone alarm. a quick (and more finely tuned than my prior) google search found the same symptoms noted in the zone alarm support forums. i gave the latest beta for zone alarm a try, but it doesn't fix the issue, so it had to go.

i feel manly! oh so manly!

okay, perhaps show tunes are not the best way to express that.

new garbage disposal installed! hooray! sure, the only reason i had to install a new one is cause i personally burned out the motor on the old one (should have cut that potato up). but that is beside the point. the point is, i have successfully completed a home repair task that was only slightly more difficult than changing a light fixture. go me! go basic plumbing and electrical skills!

being on call sucks

yes it's 2:30 in the morning. yes, i'm working. meh.

ominous portents

system restore...that'll fix my problem(s)! yeah!

oh, wait, the restore failed...that cannot be a good thing.

looks like it's time to dig out the vista disks and reinstall the fucking OS. joy.

dear garmin mapupdater

you suck. you may well be the shittiest piece of software i've had to use in a long, long time. here are a few tips:

1. if i select "download to computer only", then you should continue to function after i've unplugged the fucking GPS from the USB cable. one would think the entire purpose of this option is to allow the download to proceed without the device attached. otherwise, why offer it?
2. did you implement the windows file copy status bar for your download progress? newsflash, IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO GO BACKWARDS
3. is your server actually a decrepit laptop running a pentium 2 chip in some admin's basement in taiwan? seriously, i just ran a network speed test and my current download speed is 21 Mbps. why is my download speed from your server ranging from 24 Kbps to a max of 2 Mbps?
4. related, are you just not telling me the file size because you know i'll be wondering why it is taking more than a few minutes to download?

really, this is awful. i left the fucking thing running all night, and of course it errored out. this is painful and makes me hate those who created it. i had no idea it was possible to complicate a fucking file download this much.

EDIT: okay, so maybe it's not all your fault, map updater. a big fuck you to vista as well. and possibly my network adapters. at least at work i get paid to try and figure this shit out.

hawking the forum, again

hey kids! i've mentioned this before, but i'm going for it again...why not comment in the forum? you have the option, and there are some fun and interesting conversations going on in there. check it out. registration is easy and painless. honest.

since everyone seems to like quizes

i give you a link to "the impossible quiz!" mind you, it's not actually impossible, but it is chockfull of trick questions. enjoy.

good to know

but i'm guessing not everyone is inclined to agree with these results.

my muse is...

swiped from keifus

You scored as Clio, You are Clio, the muse of history. You love academic pursuits, but still know to have fun. You're a bit of a tease and a prankster. Erato 63% Thalia 63% Euterpe 63% Clio 63% Calliope 56% Terpischore 44% Melpomene 44% Urania 38% Polyhymnia 19% Which of the Greek Muses are you? created with QuizFarm.com

apparently i'm actually 4 muses. so i suppose it means it's a mood thing. or their domains overlap. perhaps both.

not at bad at math as i thought

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

don't i feel accomplished? i still remember basic algebra! ah well, it was geometry that i tended to screw up on. and mid-to-high level calculus.

i am now titled

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: His Most Serene Highness Lord Twiffer the Sage of Molton St Anywhere Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

alternatively:

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: His Exalted Highness Duke Twiffer the Charming of Hardy St Thomas Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

yet another work rant

can you sense a trend?

okay...so you want to have your name and address fields to be variable length. fine. that's nice, and thanks for putting a delimiter in there for me. however, you stupid fuckwits, if you then put the data into a fixed length table, you have done NOTHING but make coding more complex.

look at this shit:

* THE FOLLOWING IS THE NAME AND ADDRESS FIELD. IT IS VARIABLE
* LENGTH, WITH A MAXIMUM OF 25 CHARACTERS FOR THE NAME AND
* A MAXIMUM OF 5 LINES OF ADDRESS AND A 5-DIGIT ZIP CODE
* THE FIRST 4 LINES OF ADDRESS MAY HAVE A MAXIMUM OF 25 CHARACTER
* EACH, AND THE FIFTH A MAXIMUM OF 20 CHARACTERS. THE LAST
* CHARACTER OF THE NAME AND EACH ADDRESS LINE IS FOLLOWED BY AN
* ASTERISK. THE LAST NAME IS FIRST AND IS
* ITSELF FOLLOWED BY AN ASTERISK.
10 NAME-ADDR-AREA.
20 NAME-ADDRESS-X PIC X OCCURS 156 TIMES.

fine, fine. but, you see, if you want a variable length table in cobol, you need to write: OCCURS 1 TO 156 TIMES DEPENDING ON NAME-ADDR-AREA-LEN. or somthing akin to that. otherwise, you have a fixed length table. such as above. in which case, you'd have been better off just defining the fucking field names so i could do simple moves, instead of having to write a routine to unstring the fucking name from the address. more over, if you and moving variable length data into fixed fields, there is no point. a variable table takes up the maximum defined size in memory when you run the program. you aren't saving any space in working memory. you certainly aren't saving space in the database. the only time variable length tables are useful in cobol is when you have a variable length OUTPUT. otherwise, it's just a pain in the ass.

i hate these morons.