23 October, 2006

slightly geologic poetry

pers, august, keifus...this is all your fault.

Michelangelo Speaks to the David

You stand there, enslabbed,
lithic and waiting, an eon
old image: shepherd, young
king. So with chisel in hand
I will rend you bones
from earth into stone
and unvein you from marble.
Loosen your arm and sling
so to God again you sing
of awe, in marvel.


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minor edits/tweaks: oct 24


Michelangelo Speaks to the David

You stand there, enslabbed,
lithic and waiting, an eon-
old image: shepherd, young
king. So with chisel in hand
I will rend you bones
from earth into stone
and unvein you from marble,
loosen your arm and sling
so to God again you sing
of awe, in marvel.


EDIT: Nov 6

this is the final, i think

Michelangelo Speaks to the David

You stand there, enslabbed,
lithic and waiting, an eon-
old image: shepherd, young
king. So with chisel in hand
I will rend you bones
from earth into stone
and unvein you from marble,
unloose your arm and sling
so to God again you sing
of awe, in marvel.

5 comments:

Claude Scales said...

I'm assuming the pun at the end is intended. I like it.

twiffer said...

like the prisoners. those, and the david, are really all that's worth seeing at the academia. unless a) you really, really, really like early renessaince altar pieces or b) they unroped the big room full of statues that i couldn't go in when i visited.

onto the poem: do i need a hyphen for eon-old?

"loosen"...my first instinct was "unloose". but i thought i had too many "un-" words. not sure, can play. also notable is that, supposedly, the position of the david's arm compensates for a flaw in the marble.

sling rhymes with sing. david wrote pslams, to sing to god, but also sang with his sling-shot in killing goliath. in a metaphorical sense, with any act that praises god being a song to god. of sorts. wasn't intended as a pun, per se, but there is plenty of word play here, so if it sounds punny, go with it.

Keifus said...

I like the sounds of "rend you bones" and "unvein you".

I like unloosed better too, and if it's too close to unvein, you can always call it an intentional parallel.

Standing there "enslabbed, lithic, and waiting" sounds kind of naughty, especially given everyone school mom's immediate connotation with that statue.

K

twiffer said...

hehe. why did that make me think of the goonies?

yeah, i'm thinking "unloose" is the way to go.

twiffer said...

i don't think it's redundant. could be enslabbed in clay, for instance.